Miss Independant

I took a shower completely by myself...twice now!

thanks to my wonderful parents getting a shower curtain for me (which i also get to take to my new house when i return to school if mom doesnt get too attached to it) i can finally take on the entire process of showering by myself!

1. sit on toilet

2. remove clothing  (hoping that only women still read my blog)

3. remove leg immobilizer

4. unwrap leg/ankle and remove gauze pads 

5. put leg immobilizer back on

6. move my caboose over to the shower chair

7. put left leg in tub and lift right leg up and into tub

8. remove leg immobilizer...again

9. bathe

10. take towel #1 and dry off self, then place underneath me on the shower chair (for traction...trust me it is important)

11. put leg immobilizer BACK on

12. lift right leg up and out of tub while carefully scooting to the edge of the shower chair until i can place my foot on the floor

13. (hold your breath it gets complicated)...remove left leg from tub while left hand holds onto shower chair and right hand grabs windowsill and both arms push until i am in an upright position

14. put on robe

15. crutch it back to my room to get dressed and slather antibiotic on my foot (which the parents still get to do)

wow, it sounds more complicated when i type it all out...but thats the gist!  And it takes about 30-35 minutes to complete (not including the dressing of the foot)

hopefully my next post will be full of good news from the doctor, who i will be seeing again on thursday!

The Post That Came From Having Too Much Time To Think

Someone asked me the other day after seeing pictures of my foot if it still shocks me every time we unwrap it to clean it, etc.  I told them it had become so normal to me over the last few weeks that no, it wasn't weird at all to see pins and screws sticking out of my foot and leg with a giant metal structure surrounding it all.  I actually began to think...how weird it is going to be when it actually comes OFF.  I feel like it is going to be comparable to braces.  They are super annoying at first and they hurt and you can't wait for them to be off from the moment you get them put on...and then when they are finally gone...its strange and unnatural not having them there...your teeth feel bare and there is almost just as much adjusting to getting them off as when you first had them put on.  When I finally get this halo and leg immobilizer off, i think its going to feel awkward...first of all my leg is going to be pounds lighter...my balance may even be thrown off for awhile...I'm going to have to get used to seeing the holes in my foot and shin where metal rods used to be..not to mention the strange sensations (and painful ones) than bending my knee again will bring.  I can actually now move my knee cap by flexing my muscles...and watch it move...despite the fact that I still have no feeling in the lower part of my knee...and may never again.  I can also flex my gastrocnemius muscle and watch it move too...its weird, I know, just to sit here and think about all this...but really...what else do I have to do...

Thoughts on day 16

Well I have finally started my online classes so I have something to do other than watch Gilmore Girls all day.  Still a pretty boring life, but hopefully soon I will be learning how to knit.  I asked Chris the other day if his mom knew how to knit and his reply was, "what is knit?"  Mom and I got a kick out of that one.  But Kris Osterbur is hopefully coming over this week to teach me!  Yesterday Patti Jetter came to keep me company while everyone was at school and she brought me a disney princess coloring book :)  Mom thinks I should color some pictures for Rachel Wright...I say Rach should come color with me sometime!

My mobility and independence are increasing everyday...it is wonderful!  The hardest part is trying to carry things while using my crutches.  But yesterday I did manage to use my "grabber" to reach the guitar, take it into the living room, hook up the PS2 to the TV and play some guitar hero!  I was very proud of this.  Now the thing that probably still bugs me the most is not being able to shower in the shower everyday.  I hate sponge bathing and not being able to wash my hair as often as I like...I also get annoyed with waking up to awful back pain during the night and every morning...I was always a side sleeper so sleeping on my back is doing quite a number on my lower muscles.

My greatest fears right now are that I will have some kind of permanent deformity of my foot that will affect my walk, and the thought of getting behind the wheel again...I burst into tears last night talking to my mom about those things and I'm trying so hard to give up those worries to the Lord...its just more difficult than I thought it would be.  Our discussion about those things was interestingly interrupted since while i was crying, instead of normal body fluids coming out of my nose,  it erupted into a fountain of blood literally pouring from my nose into the trash can...not pretty...hopefully that wasn't too much info for ya'll :)  

On a positive note, this accident is saving me about $14000 on school since all I have to pay for are my online classes this semester!

I also have to mention that I probably have the best boyfriend I could hope for.  Not only did he sleep on the floor of my hospital room for three nights in a row...he learned to know exactly what I needed/wanted him to do by me simply looking at him and then looking at what I wanted him to get/do.  He also very carefully helped me out of bed every time I needed to use the bathroom (which was about every 2 hours since I was drinking about 4 liters of water a day) by putting one hand under my ankle, which was gross from all the fluids draining from it, and the other hand to support my knee.  He has only NOT visited 2 nights since I have been home and he brings me whatever I am craving that day.  Yesterday was mint choc. chip ice cream.  Sometimes I fall asleep while he is here, sometimes I cry, and he sits there through it all...comforting me when I need comforted, rubbing my head until I fall asleep...I really can't imagine going through all of this without him.  I'm such a lucky girl!

Progress!

I found a way to get out of bed by myself!  I was so excited when I did it for the first time yesterday.  Now I just need to figure out how to get back IN bed.  I also washed my hands in the sink in the bathroom STANDING UP rather than reaching over while sitting on the toilet lid.  I did hit my big giant foot on the cabinet though :(  The dumb thing is so hard to maneuver.  Basically I'm just really happy to have SOME small sliver of independence back...and someday soon i WILL figure out how to get back in bed on my own...thats the next step...

Settling In

I'm starting to get used to my new routine.  Get up around 6, drink my breakfast, go back to sleep till my next pain pill at 9, wake up, take all my medicine, give myself a shot, and wait for dad to come home and clean my foot at 9:45.  Then after he is done, i eat lunch and usually get on the computer for a bit and then take a nap for an hour or so.  Now, i'm back on the computer/watching Gilmore Girls (which i watch all the time now), waiting for everyone to get home from school.  I'll probably take another nap around 3:30 or 4 so i can eat dinner and prepare for visitors.  

Yesterday, however, i DID take a shower all by myself!  Well, after my mom helped me undress and get in the tub...but other than that i was on my own and i didn't pass out, AND i got all the way back to my room without being carried!  It felt very good...but i was COMPLETELY exhausted afterwards and i still had to sit through my foot cleaning and two sets of visitors...needless to say, i slept very well last night.  

It seems like everyday someone does something to make me feel so much better about my situation.  The other day, charity brought her kids over and rachel gave me a necklace she had just make...it didn't quite fit over my head but i have it hung on the lamp next to my bed to remind me of the sweet gesture.  I just want to again thank everyone who has made time to visit or send a card or email...they mean so much to me...and thanks also to all those who have been praying for me...each day is a little better than the last.

Home Again

Well i am finally home after 6 days in the hospital.  Walking on my crutches is still a challenge and i only made it from the van to the porch on my first attempt at home.  Then ryan and my parents had to carry me into the house from there.  It feels like i have taken a few steps back since being home, but hopefully as i continue to recover, i will be able to overcome the obstacles that come from living in my own house, like pushing myself into a sitting position rather than pushing a button that does that for me. However, home food is sooooo much better than hospital food!  That will help me regain some strength too.  Today will be a busy and exhausting day for me.  I have to learn how to shower, then do my first cleaning of my foot/knee, then i have visitors for the rest of the day and into the night.  Hopefully all the activity will allow me to get another good nights rest tonight though.

Right now I've just been praying that God will help me see His purpose in all of this.  I know He has one.  Unfortunately, since iv'e been away at school, my relationship with Him hasn't been as strong.  I am looking forward to using my recovery time to grow my relationship with Christ and make it strong again.  

Thanks again everyone who visited, sent words of encouragement, etc. since the accident.  They have helped tremendously!