Thoughts before leaving home...

The last few days have been pretty emotional for me...though ive tried not to show it.  I've just been thinking about leaving home and all the things that I will be "leaving."  It just that over the last 4 months, I've relied on a lot of things and people to get me through the hard times.  Not that I haven't relied on God because there is no way I could have made it through all this without Him, but I DO get to "take" Him with me anywhere I go, but other things I cannot.  

First are my parents.  They sacrificed so much for me and served me in so many ways when I felt helpless.  My mom sat with me while I cried many times and always brought home little surprises to help cheer me up.. and my dad did everything he could to make things easier on me...from making my lunch everyday for weeks to building me a lap desk to do my homework in bed.

Next came Chris, the one who slept on the floor of my hospital room and only went home so he could take a nap and come back as soon as he could.  He came to see me almost everyday since i've been home and all it took was a hug from him to make all the bad parts of my day go away.  He has shown his love for me in so many ways and I hate the thought of being even just 50 miles away from him.

Then there's suki...I haven't been so attached to a pet since my cat, Sassy, that we got when I was maybe 6 or 7 years old.  Suki would nap all day with me, amuse me when i was bored, cock her little head when i talked to her as if she were really listening, and just sit on my lap and watch a movie with me so i didnt feel so alone.  I actually get very sad when i think about not having that adorable little puppy around all the time.

And every sunday, I loved going to church.  Seeing everyone so excited to see me and every step of my progress and hearing how many people had been praying for me..and still are...was such an encouragement.  I will definitely miss going to Grace every sunday.

But on the other hand...im so excited to be living with three wonderful ladies in our newly painted, beautiful little house, right across from two other friends whom i have known for years.  I'm also excited to continue with school and feel like I'm actually getting somewhere!

As if this wasn't hard already...

Ball State seems to enjoy making it as hard as possible for me to start their nursing program...thoughts of transferring...again...have definitely crossed my mind but right now I'm too far into the process to go back.  The first big obstacle was convincing the director that I could handle clinicals....she tried putting me in the fall nursing class several times and each time I firmly said NO...I could do it this summer.  Then I find out that I need two classes as prerequisites for the fall that I have not taken...they waited until NOW to tell me this?  So I frantically went looking for online programs at BSU so I could get them done (way more expensive, but at least they'd be done).  BSU doesn't even offer one of the classes that I need during the summer...not online...not on campus.  SO...with my FRESHMAN advisor (because my nursing advisor is never of any help) I searched schools all over Indiana and Ohio for an online nutrition course that would satisfy the requirements for the course at Ball State.  I found one.  Phoenix University.  $1600 for one class.  So I signed up..it was my last option.  Now I can't get my nursing advisor to approve the class in a decent frame of time and I am now falling behind in the class at Phoenix because of it, and my chances to get my money back if it will not transfer are slowly drifting away with each passing day.  

Physically, the worst is over....but all this is actually proving to be more of a challenge than dealing with the pain in my leg ever was.

From 0 to 60

Wow my life has sped up the last week!

I received my nursing information in the mail last week and saw that i had A LOT to do...background checks, CPR re-certification, health clearance physicals, shots, etc.  Then tuesday night I went to Ball State and stayed with my roommates before my nursing meeting on wednesday where i found out all the ridiculous restrictions that they put on nursing students!  NO jewelry whatsoever except for the watch (not digital, with 60 second markers and a second hand), NO colored clothing underneath the uniforms - must be white crew neck or turtleneck (even though our uniform is V-neck...go figure), NO fingernails longer than the nail bed and no nail polish at all, WHITE LEATHER shoes with closed heel and toe only, hair pulled back with PLAIN hair accessories, WHITE socks that cover the ankles, and if you have tattoos, they must be covered with bandaids and you must explain to every patient why you have bandaids on.  Then the endless list of supplies that i have to purchase....a full page long....i cant wait to see the final total of everything i have to get...its going to be well over $1500 especially with the smart phone we HAVE to buy.  Needless to say, im stressing a LITTLE.

BUUUUUT....today i went back to see my surgeon, and he okayed me to drive, walk w/o my boot if i wanted, and he cleared me for clinicals!  So everything i have done already for nursing will hopefully not be in vain...the only thing holding me back is ONE class

The letter i received in the mail also informed me of 2 classes i needed to take this summer that i was not aware of....NOTHING on our schedule planner says that these two courses are prerequisites for NUR 330 Junior year.  And only one of the classes is even offered at Ball State this summer....and i can't seem to get anyone over there to help me find a school that i can take it from....the nursing faculty are very "your problems are your problems" about things...

BUUUUUT....i drove my car today...and it felt great

now off to physical therapy!

ps: i could really use your prayers about this class that i need....its the only thing holding me back right now and making me stress the most :(